Drive or Driven-Sheryl

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Norwegian Sun docked in Skagway, Alaska

I dreamed I wanted to get much more done than was possible which is pretty much my life.  There is so much I want to do but I seem to not have the time or energy for.  I know I accomplished what I did when I was younger by living on adrenaline, which got me to where I am now.  I don’t want to and can’t do that again.  But why do I want to do so much more than I can?  I think I do really know with heart knowledge that my worth is in You, Lord, not in stuff I do or don’t do.  So why the drive to do more?  Why do I yearn to do projects I have no time or energy for?  Please help me out here. 

What appropriate verses are at the bottom of my journal pages today.

          “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock,  and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God:   that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.”  (I John 5:14)

I want your knowledge and wisdom and none other’s.

 

I am in the jungle again, not knowing the answers or the way so I am standing still.  Now You are here, Lord, taking my hand.

 

“Come!”

 

As I step forward with Jesus I am in the clearing.  The jungle just disappeared.

 

“Because I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Light.  Walk with Me and your next step will be clear even if you can’t see the path.”

 

So I take Your hand and just take the next step with You.  You are the lamp to my feet.  But what about the yearning in me to do more, to get projects done?  (We’re sitting by the pond in the glen now.)  What is it that wants to drive me?

 

“You have a clue in that sentence.  I do not drive you.  You walk yoked with Me and I bear the largest burden as we walk together.  The enemy drives and lies to you until you want to drive yourself.”

 

The projects seem fun or pleasant to me, enjoyable–making a sundress, putting together another photo album, reading, spending more time down-sizing and thinking about when and where we should move.

 

“It is not an unusual thing, Sheryl.  Most people long to have the energy and drive to accomplish what they did in their youth.”

 

I guess I need You to take away the desires for the projects or show me how to make time for them.  Which comes first the paring down with a view toward moving or working on my pictures to the same end?

 

“You can work on either of those anytime you want.  But you will have to spend little to no time on the computer.  Reading will continue to take a back seat.”

 

I am asking for Your wisdom, Lord.  What is best to do?

 

“Since you are not looking to cut out your time or service to Me and others you can choose how you will.  Yes, follow in the direction of moving, down-sizing, but there is no real rush.  Enjoy what you can about the process.  Enjoy what your hand finds to do.  People make the mistake of thinking I must have only one choice for them to make in every situation.  It is good to ask me for direction, but I very often give you a lot of leeway in your choices.”

 

Father, prepare just the right home for us.  Let us know with no regrets or questions when we find it.  Thank You for being in charge, for being my Lord and King as well as being my Companion and Friend.

 

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