I see we are at the reflecting pool, on the bridge. The water looks dark, not clear.
“Yes, here we are again, Sheryl. You are my precious daughter.”
Do I hear a but?
“There is never a but when I say that.”
I have so many questions, but guide me as you will here.
“I have given you a warm day. Look for the peace.”
I see peace in the lacy intertwining branches of trees. I see peace in their swaying in the breeze–not concerned that they would fall, for you keep them through all their growing days, their life span.
“But you struggle to have peace as the breezes of your life sway you. You will not fall all the days I have for you upon the earth. And you will be at peace in the final moments. Are you not of more value to me than many trees?”
Lord, I feel so physically bad a lot, hurting, tired. I can’t do what it seems I should or want to do so often. My life seems so hemmed in when I want to soar, to live, to be with others. How do I reach out and pray when I am not with others? How do I put into practice what you are teaching me? And Lord, may I have my healing soon? I would rather you get the clear glory rather than meds, but I will take feeling well any way you want to deliver it.
“Look into the water now.”
It is a beautiful blue green like dark Caribbean water.
“And can you see your face now?”
It looks far away and sad. I have had a number of prophesies of joy over my life and I think that it is in my nature to have joy and be joyful. But the past three, going on 4, years have been such a struggle. I don’t feel it as much as I used to.
“But your joy is not dependent on either outward circumstances or the way you feel. Your joy is of Me, in Me, and comes from Me.”
Suffering is rather demanding of attention. I don’t know how to ignore it.
“Remember when you lost Becky? It was a great sorrow, yet you missed my joy and wondered if it was still there someplace. You looked deep within and deeper still until you saw that flicker of light and joy. You knew I had not left you and that the joy was from Me. Look within now.”
On the outside I see sadness. I see sadness in my mind and emotions. There are layers of reasons and disappointments.
I go to the place where my spirit is connected to your Spirit.
“Now where will you go from here?”
Into your arms, Lord, into your arms, the Everlasting Arms.
“Where I will not leave or forsake you, where you can feel my love.”
Where I weep upon your shoulder.
“We have time for all things needful.”
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
“Not your joy, my joy and my joy in you that you are mine and love Me. I want you to be clear your joy is not in your healing. Your joy comes through your connection to, dependence on and love for Me.”
I have tried to pursue peace…
“With some success. Peace is a fruit of the Spirit and part of the armor I provide. Joy is not armor. It is a fruit that depends solely on your connection to Me.”
I see the spark now, Lord. It is there.
“Of course, it is. You are mine and I am yours. See my joy in you and take joy in Me and in the life I give you, even if that life seems difficult at times.”
The only time I didn’t fee ljoy at all was during the menopause years, yet I clung to you.
“And I brought you through. But if you had searched for that spark of joy I placed in you then you would have found it. Try the reflecting pool again.”
I see a hint of joy now. But I see a lot of tiredness, too, and sadness, feeling like a lot of life is passing me by.
“I will redeem the time. I did for menopause, remember?”
(Phil. 4:45b-7) Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say rejoice…the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
8-Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable. If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9-Whatever you have learned and received and heard and seen in me–practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you…for I have learned in whatever situation to be content. 12-I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound… 13-I can do all things through him who strengthens me…14-My God will supply every need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus…23-the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.